These days, we use a lot of things to take our minds off the present moment. They can be very useful, but they can also be the very thing standing between you and your alone time. If your phone is on all day, people will try to reach you. If you respond to emails as soon as they come in, people will know they can send them at any hour of the day. And if you use your TV and your computer as a source of company, then you will never experience solitude. The good thing about all these things is that you can switch them off whenever you please. Take advantage of their built-in off button and refuse to allow anyone to interrupt your time alone. However, sometimes you need the computer to create while alone. I get that. In those cases, just shut off the internet, close your browser and shut down every other program other than the one you need – especially the ones that are used to connect with other people.

When you allow your phone to notify you the second any email comes in, you can find yourself responding to the pings every couple of minutes. Instead, set up your phone so that you have to manually update your inbox. That way you can choose which time of the day will be dedicated to replying to online messages. Once in the morning and once in the evening for a set amount of time (between 30 minutes to one hour) is ideal. This allows you to be more productive during the rest of the day, because you can’t use your emails to procrastinate. It also forces you to recognize just how much time you could be devoting to solitude.

Just a tiny bit. I know this is sacrilege for most people, but hear me out. If all you need is 30 minutes to yourself, why not wake up 30 minutes earlier? Don’t turn on any of the aforementioned distractions for this sacred half hour. Use it as your designated alone time. Pencil it into your schedule, if you have to, so no one tries to rip it away from you. Although I doubt anyone will even know this extra time exists, unless you tell them. It can be our little secret. I like to use my morning solitude to reflect on how I’m feeling, to work out, meditate and think about all the things I’m grateful for. That way I get to combine my alone time with other mentally rejuvenating routines I enjoy.

Put a “do not disturb” sign on the handle, if you have to! Whether this is the door to your office or your bedroom, you don’t need to lock it. Simply let whoever shares the building with you that you don’t wish to talk with anyone until you open the door again. Hopefully they respect your wish. If they don’t, you may actually have to lock it. Be aware that sometimes emergencies may occur that require you to be accessible, so maybe don’t put on earplugs, if the door is locked.

If the only time you have to spend alone is your lunch hour, don’t spend it in the staff room. Take it outside and eat it on a park bench or – If it’s easy to eat on the go – take a walk in silence. Of course, you could just eat it alone in your office. That works, too. I just thought it would be nice to squeeze some outdoor time and exercise in that hour simultaneously. No reason why you shouldn’t try to multitask, when it’s beneficial. It’s up to you, of course.

Some people have such demanding schedules that every possible time-slot in their calendar is blocked off. In this case, it would be beneficial – maybe even necessary – to pick a time that works best for you and actually pencil it in as though it were a work meeting. Other people don’t need to know what this time is blocked off for. Just tell them you’re busy. That’s all they really need to know. You’re not available at that time. Plain and simple. Even better: make it a regular thing, whether weekly or monthly.

Sometimes turning something like alone time into a habit is as simple as combining it with a habit you’re already good at maintaining. Say you have a ritual of exercising three times a week. If you adapt that routine to incorporate more alone time, not only does it make it easier to keep up, but it also pretty much guarantees this time will never get interrupted or stolen from you. Some people don’t understand alone time. They consider it a luxury that can be taken over by “more important” tasks. But exercise gets a lot more respect from people, so it’s unlikely they will try to take that time away from you.

If you need to leave the house to go to work, then your commute can double as alone time. Those traveling on public transport can simulate solitude by wearing ear-plugs or head-phones and immersing themselves in a book (or pretending to read one, if you’d rather clear your mind). If you have your own car, it’s much easier. Turn off the music and immerse yourself in your own thoughts – or try not to think at all, as you simply focus on the act of driving. If you reserve your driving time for listening to music or podcasts, then you can get to work a little earlier and just sit in your car in the parking lot for a little bit. Alternatively, you could do this after work, to clear your head before heading home.

As I said in this video, expressing your creativity is an essential part of health and happiness. Those who allow their lives to get so busy they abandon their hobbies end up mentally, physically and emotionally worse off. So why not have at least one hobby than can double as your alone time? Activities like reading, drawing, writing and woodwork aren’t usually done in pairs or groups. They’re ideal to spend some time with yourself while letting off some steam.

This is the option that most often springs to mind when solitude is mentioned. An enlightened yogi sitting cross-legged under a tree on top of a mountain. But meditation isn’t just for monks and hippies. In this video, I talked about the fact that meditation can be adjusted to suit anyone’s personality and lifestyle. There are many different kinds and can offer various kinds of benefits. Aside from its obvious stress-relieving qualities, meditation can also be great practise to grow accustomed to solitude. It serves as the perfect conduit for training yourself to introspect and self-reflect.

Household chores can be a great excuse to be alone. Think of them as moving meditations. Cooking, cleaning, washing or running errands are all fantastic ways to centre yourself and spend some time in your own company. Resist the temptation to watch a video or listen to a podcast, as these serve as artificial company and defeat the purpose. They stimulate similar centres of the brain to being in another person’s presence, so you don’t switch off or feel energized afterward. The trick is to pay close attention to what you’re doing, so that it fills your entire line of vision and attention span. That way your thoughts are less likely to wonder and doing the chores will go from “the bane of your existence” to “the most refreshing part of your day”.

This sort of falls under the same category as doing chores, only it can also be very soul-cleansing, self-reflective and meditative. This is because decluttering isn’t just about picking something up and throwing it away. You need to really take the time to think about what serves you, what brings you joy and what you use most often. This forces you to think about who you are as a person, what you like to do, use and have around you. You can’t declutter unless you know what matters most to you. Your values and priorities really come to the surface when you consider what is useful and what is just for show.

Whether at work or at a party, there’s always something that could be picked up – a coffee, a drink, etc. Whatever it is, being the person to go pick these things up not only makes you more likeable by those who don’t want to go themselves, but it also gives you that much extra time to be alone and think. You could go for a walk, if you’re close to a shop or just drive the car in silence. Either way, it’s an easy way to sneak off and be alone with a good excuse that everyone will be happy with. Or could you be the person everyone loves at the party: the one who offers to wash all the dishes! You will get so much appreciation for it and at the same time clear your head from all the hubbub.

Many a frazzled woman has filled up the tub to the brim with bubbles, cradled her favourite wine and lit some candles after a long day. Some enjoy the experience with soothing instrumental music (no lyrics!) and some prefer it to be dark and quiet, so they can almost take a nap in there. Whatever your preference is, just make yourself comfortable and let the steamy warmth and humidity ease you into a world of tranquil soul-searching.

This one isn’t as easy to do for those with busy schedules, but it’s my favourite kind of solitude and it has the ultimate effect on you, if you choose to invest the time. Go camping by yourself, a solo road trip or even overseas travel without a travel buddy! It’s like going for a walk on steroids! Start small by going to the park, the beach or a nearby coffee shop by yourself. Train yourself slowly to work your way up to solo travel. I know it sounds intimidating, but I promise you it’s the best decision you will ever make.

Now given these are only general tips, they may not work for everyone 100%. If you’re after more personalized advice that will fit your situation and personality, ask for help in the comments below, send me a message, or book a FREE breakthrough session to chat with me on Skype.

You can also find more Happiness Strategy videos like this one on my YouTube channel, so subscribe so you never miss an episode! I come out with a new one every single Sunday and I also have a newsletter, if you’d like to get an email every time a new article and video comes out. Click here to sign up for that.

Until next time, remember: Happiness doesn’t require energy. It requires Strategy.