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7 Steps to Developing a Healthy Questioning Attitude

If you’ve watched my video about learning how and why to question everything and you’d like to learn a few simple ways to develop a healthy questioning attitude, you’ve come to the right place.

If you haven’t watched the video yet, you can watch it below. It explains why it’s so dangerous to never question certain things we’re told.

Once you’ve watched it, move on to discover how to stop living in ignorance and instead empower yourself with the knowledge that you are smart and capable.

Before you do anything else, however, you need acknowledge that no one has all the right answers, which is why it’s imperative that we all develop a healthy questioning attitude in the first place. You are never 100% right, and neither is any other human being on this planet. Don’t confuse someone’s personality and charisma with their knowledge and intelligence. They are very different things and it’s common for some people to use any and all of the above to fool you. If you have trouble accepting that you might be wrong, perhaps watch this video (How to Be Happy: Appreciate Being Wrong). It explains the scientific reasons why we don’t realize when we’re wrong and gives you some helpful tips to conquer the related feelings.

After that, use the following steps to start developing a healthy attitude of curiosity that can truly serve you in life:

Title Icon: #1 You can’t question things you don't know are there

Being mindful and aware is essential, if you’re going to start questioning the world around you. You need to be able to notice when you’re just going along with something out of habit and recognize when a situation needs further questioning. This can’t be done, if you’re going through life on autopilot or rushing through your every decision to get through your to-do list.

If meditation isn’t your thing, you can find 4 other ways to develop present-mindedness in this article.

Title Icon: #2 Take a long hard look at your inner world

Getting to know yourself isn’t as easy as you might think. A lot of the time, we’re rushed through our lives and told what to believe, what to think and how to act. When we’re young we take it as fact and so we don’t realize who we really are until we’re old enough to go out on our own. Until then, our values, our interests, our skills and our weaknesses are things we kind of just take on and in some cases don’t even consciously choose for ourselves. That’s why it’s confusing when we get something we thought we wanted and it doesn’t make us happy. If something isn’t for you, ask yourself why you’re going after it. The answer may surprise you.

If you need more help to determine what your core values, interests, skills and weaknesses really are, click here to be gently guided through the process.

Title Icon: #3 Know where your beliefs come from

It’s the same process as above, only instead of your values, now you are questioning your beliefs. They are a lot more deeply-rooted and so it will be harder to accept that they may be faulty. Do your beliefs really resonate with you, or did you acquire them somewhere along the way from parents, friends and role models? You’d be surprised how easily that can happen without you even noticing. In fact, rarely do our beliefs come from facts. That’s why they need to be believed in. Most of the time they aren’t based on facts at all.

Title Icon: #4 Respond with questions as often as possible

Most statements can be responded to with a question and this can often be a lot more appropriate than the cookie-cutter replies we’re used to giving. To think of appropriate questions to ask when people tell you something, it requires that you actively listen and really think about what you heard. If someone tells you they feel sad, a suitable question to ask could be “How can I help?” or it might be “What thoughts brought up these feelings for you?” It’s always dependant on the situation, so this practise teaches you a very useful life skill: Discernment.

This makes you more sensitive to little details you otherwise wouldn’t have noticed and can help you later on, if you ever need to participate in a healthy debate. This is definitely better than mindless confrontation, which is triggered when there is a questioning attitude is rejected. It’s also a more loving way to handle things, because you become more compassionate.

Title Icon: #5 Teach children how to think, not what to think

Whether these children are related to you or not, it’s important that, as older humans, we teach the younger ones how to think critically. When they know the proper way to come to logical conclusions for themselves, we can safely spend less time telling them what to do. Not to mention it teaches them how to be immune to things like harmful propaganda and brainwashing from people trying to control them.

And this doesn’t just apply to children. If you know any adults who would be open to learning these skills, show them this article and the related video. If we’re going to change the world for the better, we have to try our best to convince those currently in a position to help, not just prepare the future citizens of this world.

Title Icon: #6 Make it easier for people to ask questions

This is closely related to what I said above. If you can’t allow others to grow in this curious attitude, there’s no point in you trying to do it. The whole point is to teach as many people as possible to question what they’re told, so they can contribute to changing society for the better. And in order for that to work, you need to let other people question you sometimes. Become okay with allowing them to ask why you believe things need to be done a certain way. Remember that you’re not always right and if you never let anyone question you, neither of you will ever come to the truth.

Title Icon: #7 Respond with love

In order to successfully implement step 6 above, you need to also understand how to respond appropriately to people. It’s sort of an extension of step 4. Love is always the way, so being compassionate can get you very far in life, despite what movies and memes might have you think.  When you seek to understand people instead of trying to be right, a shift occurs and you wouldn’t believe how powerful it is until you see it for yourself.

People are more likely to ask questions, if they feel safe and know that they will be heard and acknowledged without fearing confrontation or punishment. You don’t have to accept what they’re saying, you just need to seriously consider their point of view with respect. Don’t scoff or ridicule people who ask questions. Remember that there are no dumb questions. In fact, not asking questions can mean you stay dumb.

Also, don’t answer people’s questions cryptically. Take the time to respond in a way that they will understand and definitely don’t be intentionally vague. That’s just the same as being manipulative and it will definitely not lead to a better tomorrow. If legitimate concerns are brought to your attention, take the time to properly look into them.

A key factor to remember is that it’s important this love is unconditional. I know that’s hard, but it’s crucial to make any of this work. If this concept scares of confuses you, I’ve got 3 videos and two articles that can help you understand why it’s so beneficial. The steps are very clear and easy to follow, to give them a chance, even though it might sound cheesy as a concept.

Step-by-step Instructions: 10 Practises that Make It Easier to Love Unconditionally

And as a bonus, here are some questions you can ask yourself as you go through life with your new-found curiosity:

  1. Before you start a task:

- Is there a better method to do it than the way I’ve always been told to?
- What are the expected results?
- If something doesn’t go as expected, will it create safety hazards and how then will I proceed?
- Are all my concerns acknowledged?

  1. If something unfamiliar occurs:

- Is it safe to continue after a failure?

- How should I proceed from now on?

- If I do continue, are the results still valid?

- If not, how can I prevent or deal with this situation in the future?

- What went wrong?

- Is there anything I can learn from this?

  1. When the definition of success is uncertain:

- What do the results actually mean?
- What factors could change the results?
- What is most important to me in respect to my success?

  1. During the review of your progress:

- Are the results what were expected?
- If not, what could have caused the unexpected results?
- Did I learn a better way to perform the task or analyse the results?


Try out the above tips and if you’re still struggling, you can ask for my help in the comments below, send me a message, or book a FREE breakthrough session to see how I can help you through Skype.

You can find more of my Happiness Strategy videos on my YouTube channel, so subscribe to make sure you never miss an episode! A new one comes out once a week on Sunday.

Until next time, remember: Happiness doesn’t require energy. It requires Strategy.

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